Monday, August 20, 2012
forty two
Well, it happens to the best of us, aging. Unable to stop life's natural course of action, I now find myself middle-aged. WTF! How did I end up here? When I was a kid growing up in the seventies and eighties middle-aged seemed so old. Made-for-t.v. movies were constantly about mid-life crisis and cheating spouses having said mid-life crisis. My parents turning 40 was a big deal. I remember painting a huge sign that hung from the front porch to mark the occasion. My dad and his old school friends smoking cigars outside and talking 40 year old guy talk, reminiscing about their neighborhood days. Now it is my turn, except that I already passed the 40 year old mark. Now I am 42. Gross. No reason to celebrate much for that occasion. I know, I know, I love birthdays. Well, not this one. This age just seems so common, so old, so mid-life crisis. In fact now that I've hit the forties, I don't feel such a need to be festive for my big days. Forty two is a reminder that the crease between my eyebrows is only getting deeper, along with those "smile lines" around my mouth and oh, what is this pouty stuff by my chin. Shit. Another thing I've been hearing a lot of is peri-menopausal. Well that's it! We can stop right there! I may be 42, but I'll be damned if I'm even going to start thinking about that! Hot flashes, hormone loss, forget it! Mother Nature's cruel torture will just have to be the bridge that I cross when that time comes. I refuse to look at myself as old, aging, or God forbid, peri-menopausal! Yuck! I believe and always have that aging is a natural process which you can welcome and go about it gracefully or you can fight with plastic surgery and too-tight clothing like an O.C. housewife. I intend to borrow from both sides. I have no quarrel with a little botox or restylane to keep lines intact. I do however have a big huge problem with extensive surgery that leaves your face looking like it got stuck in a wind storm. Lips overinflated and eyes pulled back so tight you wonder how one can even see. I also intend to always dress young, not boobs hanging out of my shirt young, just fun clothing like my favorite aqua rubber boots and my Gap jeans. I will never give up my giant hoop earrings or my endless supply of flip-flops. I have however, sadly bid adieu to most of my platform heels since pregnancy wrecked the balls of my feet. Notice though I said, most of my platform heels. There is always at least one pair of shoes that a girl will suffer for because they just look FAB! Another aggravating factor about aging is gray hair. My mother accepted this fate and never colored her beautiful silver, choosing to wear it long and sleek. This will not be me. I am a blonde and there will not be one gray hair on my head until the fat lady sings. My love affair with desserts has also sadly ended. Nothing will kill a 42 year old figure quicker than a cookie! Now aging is not all bad, despite the physical demise and such. Aging allows one to relax just a bit and know that life does take care of itself. Aging allows one to grow wiser, become more secure. When I think about being an insecure teen, following everyone else's example, I hardly recognize myself. Aging has allowed me to lead, to have a voice, and to not be afraid. It is with this wisdom that I will continue to fight this annoying aging battle. I WILL still wear my bikini if it looks good. I will still sunbleach my hair, only wearing it a bit longer to hide that crease. I will suffer through giant heels and running extra miles to rid myself of that fantastic cookie. I will continue to welcome loud music, dancing, and occasional late nights. What I won't do is call myself old or middle-aged. Older, yes. Wiser, I hope so. Dead, not even. Good morning world.
Monday, August 13, 2012
child's play
Seriously stressed about my store rent, I was in definite need of some escapism. Per the advice of my oh-so-wise husband, I took the day with my son and went exploring. Calling up an old friend, we met at a little slice of woods right in the neighboring city in order to set free our children. My three year old has had some excessive pent-up energy lately and has succeeded in driving my husband and I a bit batty. A run through the woods and some stone throwing along with creek exploring followed by the playground was just what this mom needed! After we trudged down the hill to the shallow quarry it was not long before all 3 kids had found or fallen their way into the water. A while later we were searching for new ground following the creek to its sudden end only to be surprised by a small school of fish. It's so lovely to watch kids be enchanted by the smallest detail. Jumping stepping stones and climbing that hill while holding tiny hands was instantly calming. I felt the tension slip from my shoulders and was able to enjoy the time spent with these three beauties and my old friend. At the playground games of tag and more endless climbing left these two parents on the bench. After 3 hours we finally dragged our tired and soggy kids to the car with promises of future play dates. If all play dates are as good as this one than count me in! Child's play is not just for kids. Good night world.
Monday, August 6, 2012
beached
Well here I sit, once again hopped up on black coffee. Noon on a Monday. Trying to start my day, finally, I am stuck on this stool at my counter dreaming of my lovely oceanside vacation. A week spent at the beach is healing to the soul and this past week was no exception. I was able(for a short time at least) to be lulled by the Atlantic's roar as it crashed onto the beach, cicadas buzzing in the background while gulls screeched above. Daytime brought blue skies, soaring temps, and sand so hot you felt the bottoms of your feet burning. Evening brought cool, cool ocean breezes and a few storms that had me wondering if the ominous billowing cloud was really just that or some alien ship hovering. Halfway into our week the most beautiful pinky orange full moon appeared to light the beach while falling stars slipped silently into the water. The nicest thing about a beach vacation is my ability to sleep like the dead. Barely able to keep my eyes open past ten o'clock I would slide under the covers, open my giant beach read, and promptly fall asleep. My husband the night wanderer would slip in ninja-like to close my book, remove my glasses, and turn off the light. Upon waking I would notice these items stacked neatly on the nightstand with no cognizant memory of how they got there. Friends and family added a new twist on an old theme this year. "Unkin" Rob drove up from the gulf coast only to be surprised by his best friend driving down from Virginia Beach. Cocktails flowed the minute we had the key to the cottage in hand. An off color remark to a pregnant bride about a shot gun wedding really set the stage for our entertainment. Our friend's comment now permanently burned into our beach memories. My son, not to be overlooked, relished the attention from mom, dad, and visitors. Proudly showing off his new police kit, we were all put under arrest numerous times. Watching him scream with delight while my husband raced down the beach towing him on a boogie board made my heart fill with joy. The literary gem Walter the Farting Dog would end my son's days with sweet dreams of gas-bloated canines. One rainy day brought out the puzzles and ice cream. On the heels of our friend's departure brought the arrival of my mother-in-law. Filling her cup with vodka and ice and settling into a beach chair had her sighing with contentment. My dear dear "Unkin " Rob left us on Thursday which left me in a funk for most of the day. I have never been ok with my friends moving away, so growing accustomed to their presence in my day to day. Trying all day not to cry left me bawling like a baby by dinner. Such is life. After leaving grammy on the miniscule airport tarmac we wrapped up the week with just our little family. Wave diving, boogie boarding, and a shrimp dinner rounded out our last day. Kissing my husband under the full moon later that night left me feeling grateful and blessed for our crazy life. Goodnight moon, good-bye beach and Happy One Year Anniversary to my little blog. Good afternoon world.
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