thankful

Well, it's that time of year again. That time of year when we are supposed to reflect on all the reasons we have to be thankful. Being thankful is a concept easier said than actually done. I believe we live in a selfish, more is more society. I would like to believe that idea is changing slowly and we are getting back to our roots and what really is important, but for the time being it is what it is. We are still so impressed with what others have and let our petty jealousies get in the way of actually accomplishing our own goals and learning to be grateful for that. One may wonder why they got the short end of the stick while that guy over there makes more money or has a car that never needs fixed or shops at the expensive grocery store instead of standing in line with people in their slippers. So caught up are we in other people's business we often overlook what is staring us smack in the face. I have to admit my material wants do not motivate me to do better. Yes, of course I wish I could shop at Anthropologie every week, but is it really important? When one has a family to support, do I really need $200 pants? As I have stated many a time over the past 2 years, the only thing I long for is good old stability. It is the ONLY goal I have not achieved. I live on this slippery slope of trying to juggle store, house, and family expenses. Groceries or inventory? Gas bills or new clothes for my growing like a weed child? Living like this for so long starts to drag you down. I start to feel like all the grousing I've done over our financial situation and my husband's employment status is becoming my persona. I'm starting to feel like the person at the grocery wearing their pajamas. As mentioned above, it's far easier to say you're thankful than to actually BE thankful. Today during one of our endless discussions my husband mentioned how far he's come in his career. This took me by surprise because in my head career advancement equates financial advancement. As he explained all the experience he's racked up over the few years, making him a better job candidate, I couldn't help but hate myself for my bitter and resentful feelings. This man knows how to be thankful. He understands that it's not always the big picture, but the steps one takes to get to the main event. I have a hard time being patient while he takes all these steps. I'm too focused on how tired I am from the stress of the bills and the weight of it all.  I'm the one that has to stop obsessing about what we DON'T have and start being thankful for all we DO have. So here goes, I am thankful for my life. In a nutshell that's it. I could have millions and not have my family. I could be working in a stuffy cubicle staring at someone's cankles while I daydream of better jobs. I could get model thin by not eating cheese, but how the Hell would I enjoy the pizza I love so much. Trite examples I know, but you get the message. We only get one life (that we know of) and it's up to us to figure out how to make this life that is happening right now the best it can possibly be. So look at your family, your dog, your cat, your house, apartment, car, bike, what have you and just be thankful. Be happy you are here. Goodnight world.