road trip

Well, here we are almost July. Winter finally freed it's stranglehold and everywhere is green, green, and more green. The sun is warm and the air smells like the Linden trees that line my hometown streets, sweet and intoxicating. Hello summer. Life has settled into it's summer groove. Lazy mornings with my coffee in bed, afternoons at the pool or work, and any opportunity taken to jump on my paddle board and hit the lake. June started in a wave of sadness as a few of my friends suffered some of life's challenges. Happy to not be crying or sad I figured some light reading was on the agenda for you faithful followers. As it so often happens, opportunity knocked during one of those times and my best friend and I found ourselves spontaneously en route to Florida to see our friend. Funny thing about spontaneity, when you're younger it's easy to drop everything and just go. As you get older and kids, spouses, and jobs come into play, it's more difficult to fly like the wind. Well, fly we did, er drive I mean. After an anxiety driven week, we dropped our children with their grammies, left the men to their work and hit the road Thelma and Louise style, you know minus the guns and cliff dive. It had been a very long time since my friend and I traveled together and two very big personalities on an 18 hour drive could be difficult. Could be, but it wasn't. We were champs! Driving and singing and car dancing and a very impromptu stop in Savannah, Georgia did our souls the world of good. Stops for junk food, coffee, smokes and one very off the beaten path gas station saw roads less traveled. After the final few harrowing hours on Florida's fine I75 which left my knuckles in a white death grip, we arrived at our destination and were welcomed with ice cold slushy margaritas and many hugs and kisses. Passing out by 11 we were up early the next morning chasing nature. Determined to get one Florida paddle board excursion in while we were there, we drove an hour and a half north to partake in a paddle ecotour which had us paddling with manatees(well, one), dolphins(one again), and one large know-it-all jackass who promptly ran his kayak into the mangroves leaving his large mass flailing in the water. Sometimes karma is so beautiful. After paddling, lunch,and a long swim in the Gulf, we met new friends for drinks at the marina then home to our friend. Pina coladas and sunburn on the beach the next day. Rainy Tuesday spent reading, talking, and watching the ibis parade across the yards searching for snails. Drunken, rainy boat ride complete with many dolphins on Wednesday and more beach, shopping, and sightseeing on Thursday. Ending our week with a sushi feast, we were relaxed and ready to come home. After dispensing of the critters camped in my open suitcase, we were packed to go. Trying not to cry, we said goodbye to our sleepy friend, waved at our little mango house and hit the road. After a little adjustment time it was right back to work, jumping in with both feet. Now as I sit on my porch writing I am dreaming of our trip all over again. Florida sits in my soul like a gift waiting to be unwrapped. I dream of the palm trees, the dock on the canal where I drank my coffee every morning, the beach. I miss the Florida smells, the food, the wildlife, but most of all I miss my friend. I hope to make it down again next year, showing my little man all the Sunshine State has to offer. For now, I am happy in the Cle because it is summer and we don't grow our bugs that big. Good morning world.

sorrow

Yesterday my husband and I attended the saddest, most heart wrenching yet beautiful memorial service. A service that left even my one and only sobbing next to me. Death is never easy and lately there has been a lot of it. I, personally, am sick to death of death. I am sick of crying. I am sick for my friend who is a widow at 43. I am sick that my friends next door are gone. I am sick of the sadness that has surrounded me lately. The sorrow that is too overwhelming and left me in bed with a migraine that took 24 hours to subside. I hate that my heart feels too much for these friends that, though not blood, are my family. When I moved to Cleveland in 1994 all I had was a truck of old stuff and a boyfriend that refused to work. When I arrived, my beautiful east side apartment was infested with roaches. Probably would have been good to know before I trucked all my crap to a strange city. None of this held any strong promise for a burgeoning new life. Still I kept at it. I wasn't giving up because I was not going back to the Steel City, no way, no how. After finding a new clean place on the west side I was able to focus on my new job. Now mind you, this was not a career. I didn't move to start any big plans, just see how things went. I transferred restaurant jobs and by the end of my  first day, this wild haired, freckly faced girl and I were fast friends. Realizing that my mess of a relationship was on the down slide, she and I were joined at the hip. Racing from one side of Cleveland to the other. Sleepovers like teenagers. Sunday dinners at her big old house where one could hear the ice clinking in the other room during cocktail hour and her mom made the best beef stroganoff. St. Patty's Day parades with pints and pints of Guinness and her brother yelling "Mr. Sweeney" every 5 minutes because, you know, someone is going to wave back. Ironically, it was probably my future father-in-law. So many memories, so many years. Twenty years I just realized today. Through those years we weren't so joined at the hip because life always intervenes and time gets away from you. But through those years we have stayed the closest of friends knowing one merely has to pick up the phone to reconnect. Now this man whom she loved more than life is gone. My heart breaks for my friend and if I could whisk her back in time to start again, I know she'd do the same all over. They talked yesterday about how adventurous he was, biking all over the world, doing this, doing that yet my friend claimed she was less so. Here's where I have to disagree. Through the years I have known her to take numerous trips abroad, climb mountains in Peru or Chile, one of those mountain places, live in China for 3 months, go back to school, change careers, run races, sail, the list goes on. Adventurous she is, along with brave and strong. She's never run from challenges even when they were too hard for most to handle. Because of this I know she will be okay. When her heart frees itself of the sorrow, she can go on because there are always new challenges and new adventures and she knows I'm only a phone call away. Good night world.