frustration

I'm sure you all know this feeling, maybe in abundance. Nothing like a horrible gray rainy day, lack of business, and oh, just to add icing to the proverbial cake, a nice big argument with my beloved. Ugh. Today sucked. I can't make any bones about it, it was just a bad day. This 40 days and 40 nights of rain does not improve the mood. I can only hide under my afghans for so long before I am ready to jump off a bridge. Pardon if this post is a bit bitter, but like I said it was a BAD day and you all know how I love my wine, so bestie and I partook in a few lovely glasses while our wild ones ran amok. My frustration lies again in the lack of education jobs and my mental capacity to perform my waitressing tasks. Lets put it this way, when you are 41 and have a lot going on the ability to handle whiney adults and whiney employees(sometimes interchangeable) takes a better, younger person than I. I am working overtime to promote my tiny business in a really CRAPPY economy and I tend to see red when I feel my beloved is not living up to his potential. As stated before the situation is not his fault, but if I feel any slight slacking on his part I tend to act like Martha Stewart and excuses are NOT an option. Discussing this matter only leads to defiance and brooding. Again, ugh. Couple this with a cold that WILL NOT GO AWAY and leaves me hacking like a 2 pack a day smoker is enough to make me jump out of my skin! I feel like Charlie Brown when Lucy keeps taking the football away from him....AARRGGHHH!! Apparently I am also enjoying the caps lock key on my keyboard. I just want to know when enough is enough? When do I get to stop dragging myself from job to job to support this family? Isn't this a team effort? I know I will continue to keep the momentum going, but I would really like to concentrate on ONE job, the one that really makes me get out of bed each day, customers or no customers, my business.  There is also my beautiful son. I guess I should have mentioned him first, but you know he's not a job to me so I don't group him into that category. In a few months I will be done working Friday nights. I will miss the income, but in the grand scheme of things, really, 300 extra dollars a month is not a big price to pay to hang out with him and not have to schlepp from job to sitter to job to sitter to home. I think pizza and t.v. and bonding time with him sounds much nicer. So my frustration lies in my situation yet again, hence the reason for this whole blog of mine, and how to make our life a little nicer and a little easier. I suppose I could just give up my little business that I love like my own family and work in a cubicle from 9 to 5 and feel a little piece of myself die each day or I could hang in there, try to have patience, and hope for better days. I guess you all know the answer to that one(in case you don't the cubicle is NOT an option) and thank God and Buddha for my best friend and her ability to provide comfort, conversation, and most important mommy's little helper(that would be wine). Thanks Cay. I love you. Goodnight world.