leap of faith

Be careful what you wish for. This is a saying I've heard my whole life and just never figured it applied to me. I have never wished for anything quite out of the ordinary like a fancy car or mcmansion or even millions of dollars. In fact most times I feel my wishes HAVE come true. I have a wonderful husband, beautiful child, had a fabulous dog and own my own business that I love to my core. My only wish that hasn't been granted is my swimming pool. I have dreamed of my own pool since I was a child. Ah if only life were so simple that wishes consisted of swimming pools and say, unicorns. As an adult I now wish for boring old stability. This seems to be the most difficult and elusive wish of all. One month the bills get paid and the next they don't. I am quite tired of this hamster wheel of monetary obligation. It is quite maddening. As I mentioned in a previous post the Christmas blur has ended and now we are left with the few months between until the flowers poke up to say hey it's spring now! These few months always cause a bit of anxiety and restlessness in this part of the country or at least in this city where the sun decides to hibernate like a big fat grizzly. Really? Gray again, great. This weather does not improve my mood or my psyche. I shouldn't complain, its been so mild yet I would almost feel better in 4 feet of snow, at least I know where I stand. So you can see my mood lately(hey I warned ya back in December) and can only imagine my surprise when my husband arrived home one day with good news about his career. What, you say? Good news? Impossible this is my moment of melancholy, I'm not allowed to be happy right now. Apparently his career is about to take off one little baby step at a time. Hey we'll take it because the only baby steps around here are now walking to school. Anyway wow! It's about time. I can actually take a step back and breathe, give up control, quit my other job. Oh, I just had to go and say it, quit my other job, here comes the anxiety. This is where that old annoying saying comes in. I can't wait to quit my other job. I am mentally OVER dealing with people and their damn food. I DON'T CARE IF YOUR STEAK IS OVERCOOKED. That's when you know it's time to go, but the stability of that money makes it very hard to take that flying leap. My husband and I have been living that restaurant life for over 15 years but now it is time to follow in my friend's footsteps and say so long. I can't wait to close the shop on a Friday or Saturday and come home to my family, cook dinner, have some wine(well you knew that was coming)and just be. The loss of income on both our parts will be difficult, but I have to roll with it, have faith, and trust in my husband to know this is where our path leads us. Trust is hard, especially for a control freak like me, but my heart knows that together we can take that leap of faith and all will be just fine. Goodnight world.