bored

Today a friend posted that she was bored with the crappy day, she was too broke to go shopping, and it was too early to start drinking, but at least she had bacon. Well after laughing, I thought, way to turn lemons into lemonade. It is that kind of positive attitude one sometimes needs to get through a boring, dreary, rainy, run-of-the-mill day. Today I had big intentions for my time alone in the shop. After having coffee and watching the weather, I realized those big intentions weren't happening. Completely disgruntled with my lack of business which lead to my lack of enthusiasm for my projects, I planted my derriere on my sold vintage sofa and did nothing. All day I had this anticipatory feeling, like waiting for company to arrive, but to no avail. There I sat and there I waited. Bored, bored, bored. I don't do bored well, so used to always being busy. I was out of paint so nothing got painted. I was out of money so no new stock came in. By the end of the day I was completely out of patience. Even my fresh-baked zucchini bread couldn't comfort my bleak mood. Upon coming home to dishes in the sink and garbage not put out didn't help my situation either. This of course lead to words with my husband who truly did not deserve my wrath. On top of that, my crappy contact feels like glass in my eye and by 5:00 I was ready to scream. Even my treadmill made me angry, staring at me the way it does. Any positive thoughts about that lemonade went right out the door. Ahhh, big sigh. Of course as I always say when these insignificant, trivial matters clutter my brain and my day, there are some that have it worse. I could be homeless or without my family or have a lot of credit card debt. I suppose we complain to feel better about ourselves without realizing how stupid our complaints sound in the grand scheme of things. I built this little blog of mine based on my internal struggles with our world. There are just some days where life is not all hearts and unicorns and today is one of them. Tomorrow will be better. Thursday I get to shop for the store and Friday I have lovely dinner plans. Until than I will pour a glass of wine and cook up my bacon. Good night world.

first day

Well here we go again, the ringing of the bell, the pledge of allegiance, and freshly polished floors. If you close your eyes you can almost smell the ink from fresh mimeographs. The first day of school. The day parents wait for all through August. The day parents can return their wild ones to that sacred place that allows us our sanity nine months of the year. They may go willingly or kicking and screaming, but no holds barred, they are returning! Yesterday marked the first day of my child's second year of pre-school. This year he goes all day!! Hooray, hooray! Well as this new tradition would have it, my husband and I did the usual lugging of school supplies, lunch, rest-time mat, blankie, backpack, oh, and child. Finally situated with last year's returning friends, we kissed him good-bye and made a mad dash for the door. As luck would have it, again, this mom trying my best to be brave, broke down in tears the minute we left the classroom. I have come to the conclusion that this will just be my habit. I am no good at these "monumental" occasions. Taking deep breaths never helps only postponing the eventual emotional release. I hate this hair trigger crying. My husband thinks it's sweet, I just find it annoying. If I'm this much of a mess now, Lord, wait until he goes off to college. Determined to enjoy our free time together my husband and I went off to lunch and shop. Being an oppressively humid gray day it did not help deter my worries. Putting on a brave face through each store and laughing through lunch only had me missing my little one more. Finally, three o'clock, time to pick him up! As we again made our way through the confusing mess of cars we saw his class venture from the building. Poking his head out the window my husband was able to see our child emerge through the crowd. Catching sight of his father's wild curls and smiling face, our child lit up like Christmas and made a mad  dash for our car. Wrapping my arms around his little body in welcome I again felt that lump in my throat. So happy to have him safe and sweet in my grasp, I didn't care who saw me cry. This is my son, my husband and together we are family. Good morning world.