stuffed

Well here I sit molded to the sofa, already in my pjs by 6:30 and coughing up my lungs. After a whirlwind of a week of work and holiday festivities I am left with this lovely cold and the muffin top threatening to creep over my bottoms. Snuggled in next to my husband and his neverending obsession with those angry birds, Mickey Mouse Club on the tv and my little love eating his dinner, "us a family" to quote my 4 year old. That's right my dear, us a family. Thanksgiving is one of those holidays where even though the thanks is in the title we still have to remind ourselves why we aren't working and are about to shove platterfuls of food in our faces. Thankful is what we are, what we need to remember. Thankful for our health, home, family, football and of course the turkey. Oh sure Columbus and the pilgrims had something to do with all this, but after years of hearing about the rape and pillage of the new world upon landing, I've put the history on the back burner and just am thankful for the life I have been given. Oh I know I can gripe with the best of them, I mean who doesn't, but when you get right down to brass tacks, it ain't all so bad. My leaky old house, my crazy business, my wild child, my husband's career, all just reasons to appreciate what we have even more.  The first half of Thanksgiving was spent in a nauseous haze trying to get over this cold. After my gingerale I was up and cooking my mac and cheese and famous cranberry sauce. Soon after work demanded a small portion of my time. Upon rummaging through a box of old Christmas lights my dad had passed on to me I was struck by one of the old price tags of all things. As the montage of 1980's memories played through my head I suddenly found myself sobbing in my attic. Divorce is never easy on any family and having gone through my parents in my thirties, I feel it's even harder as an adult. Now as these memories of my mom and dad, my sister and I played on in my mind I was struck with that melancholy of a life lost. Now being in the business I am of basically selling memories, I am NOT one to hold on to the past. To me the past is money which supports my family. This sudden rush of emotion was surprising to me. I didn't feel so much sad as reflective. Taking after my mother I am helpless with emotion and it always pours out my eyeballs. Drives me nuts. This was different. This time I welcomed the onslaught of emotion. It was nice to think of the four of us before it all went down. I hadn't looked at us as a family in a long time. Joining my husband's family filled that void left after the divorce, but now reminiscing in my attic reminded me from whence I came. My dad running behind my training wheel-less bike, my mom taking me to get my ears pierced, sleeping in my sister's bed every Christmas eve, just a few sweet thoughts that filled my crazy brain and made me realize just how thankful I was for the time we had together. Moving on to my mother-in-law's for the feast and family frenzy I was again struck with memories,this time of my father-in-law at the table. My mother-in-law extremely subdued this year was feeling the same vibe. Upon returning home and finding ourselves on the couch contemplating thirds, I suddenly realized just how stuffed I was. Stuffed full of good memories of my favorite people in different stages of my life. No matter where we all are at any given moment, us still a family. Goodnight world.