Relief

Well, here I sit again, brain buzzing with my new favorite Starbucks, ready to put it all out there in cyber space. As previously stated, wow, I can't believe this month is just about over. Thank God and Buddha. February has never been my favorite month. As a teen my mother would have to threaten and cajole just to get me out the door to school, so content was I to just lie in my bed. February sucks all the life out of me. It's gloomy, stagnant, cold, blah. I hate blah. This year as the clock rolled over to 2013 I decided there are two ways I can start out: I can be depressed and complain and worry about weather, money, health or I can take charge of these two worst months and tackle all my demons that wake me at three in the morning. Well of course there was a little of the former and a lot of the latter. Here in this gray city one can't escape winter without a little seasonal depression, but there were ways to combat mine. Running in the park, visiting the cold icy beach with hot coffee, walks in the muddy woods, reading an endless array of books, and just plain motivation. Motivation was my prozac. A grocery list of responsabilities that I was shucking because I hate paperwork and schlepping around from office to office was about to be conquered. Health plans were acquired, taxes were filed, scary bill taken care of, business name change put into action, furniture finally painted, exercise routine established. As a born procrastinator I have to fight this part of my personality in order to "get 'er done". God, I hate Larry the Cable Guy, but that saying is just so fitting. I even hung a big foreboding list just so I could cross each item off in order to feel accomplishment. Of course with each item deleted there seems to be a growing new list of "things to do", but this list is much less daunting, at least for now. For now I can feel relief over all those crossed off items. I can look in the mirror and see less of those holiday desserts. I can rest assured that if one of us gets hurt we have a place to go and have care. My shop is alive and colorful again with new merchandise and more coming. The government can leave me alone now for everything is filed. For now I can enjoy my evening reliving my teen years with my wild girlfriend drinking margaritas and rollerskating. Maybe not the best combination, but hey if I break anything at least I'm covered and February is over! Good morning world.