inspiration

I don't know if it's the weather change and the return of my business or an upcoming buying adventure across country or just plain old spring fever, but this crazy brain is on overdrive! Lately I feel inspired by well, just about anything and everything. I feel like I eat, drink, sleep all matters creative. If I'm not scouring the planet for old junk, I am displaying my finds. My recent appearance on a design show has me coveting anything interior related. Our recent home renovation(still not finished)has me looking at furniture in a new light. I am ready to purge all my belongings and start fresh yet my inner hoarder is struggling. With the emergence of spring, my yard is getting the stink eye, so ready am I to finally finish outside projects. I am inspired by travel and the senseless abandonment it brings. My wanderlust is at full tilt waiting for my road trip next week. All I can say about that is girlfriends, old junk, cowboy boots, and margaritas under the Texas sky. I am so excited I could positively burst! I would also like to thank American Express for the business capital to make it possible or I might be anxiously chewing off all my fingernails right now. Writing is also inspiring in the way it forces my brain to creatively arrange words on a screen in order to convey all these random thoughts boinging around in my brain like freshly dropped super balls. Writing is a creative outlet I never even entertained until an overwhelming need to scream turned into a blog of four years. Screaming to a silent audience is actually quite cathartic and I wish I had realized my ability sooner rather than later. Better late than never they say. Social media is also another source from which to draw inspiration. There is an entire world of color, travel, design, craft, food, etc. just waiting for the click of your finger. After being stuck inside the past few months with not much in the way of inspiration other then social media, it's no wonder my brain feels on fire, awake, alive! That winter pall has left my body and all I see is possibility. My brain is short firing in bursts of color. My poor husband can't keep up with my vocal musings free associated in his direction. Every inspirational meme seems to be speaking to me and I am soaking it up like I plan to soak up the sun. Dream big. I am! Just do it. I am! Be the change you wish to see. I am! It is just so nice to feel again. Being so cold for so long left me dull and unmotivated. I don't even care that it still lingers because in exactly one week I will be in warmth. It may be muddy and soggy or dry and dusty. Either way I don't care because I have 6 days to roam free with no schedule or agenda. Six days to suck up all the inspiration I can and channel it back into my business and home. So lookout y'all, I'm bringing more back from this adventure then just freeloading cucharachas, because when inspiration strikes, ya gotta ride it like a wild pony or you'll get trampled. Good evening world.

strength

After being tagged as a strong woman in my girlfriend's post for Women's Day yesterday, it got me thinking about strength and from where it comes. What do we do as women to be strong, stay strong, get strong? From where do we draw that power? Are we born strong? I don't think that is always the case. I know I was born independent, but I wouldn't say strong. I used to be timid and crowd following. I wasn't outspoken or able to stand up for myself. I never rocked the boat. Now, well now is just a different story. Now, I'm older. With age comes strength, at least for me. Being your own boss and the confidence that takes makes you strong. There were so many times over the course of so many years where I thought I would give up and just throw in the towel. So many tears over money and jobs and parenting. So many times I wondered what the heck I was doing toting this little child around while trying to keep a business afloat while holding my breath through my husband's job search, all while trying to work a second job. I remember one particular afternoon hearing my husband's voice as he answered his phone to another rejection and feeling my immediate need to flee. I ran to my car and drove off leaving them behind. The only place I could think to go was to my Italian barber neighbor. In tears I blew into the back of their shop where Paul in his infinite age and wisdom sat me down to hear my woes. In his calm demeanor he told me,"Robin, you have to get up off the mat." So like a man, simple and to the point, no bullshit. I went to Paul for cold hard truth and he gave it to me. From that day on, whenever life doesn't work out to our expectations, I hear Paul's voice in my head. You see, life shoves you down and to come back swinging only makes you stronger. I am stronger because I keep fighting. I fight for my family and I fight for my business. The two things I have in this life that I feel are worth fighting for. Strength can also come from people. Who you surround yourself with says a lot about your own personality. I don't surround myself with shrinking violets. Shoulda, woulda, coulda, are not in my vocabulary anymore and I don't want to hear other's excuses on why their life is falling short of their expectations. I surround myself with strong personalities(God help me), creatives, teachers, entrepreneurs, and yes, fighters. I have friends fighting for love, notice, success, self-worth, motherhood, health, and if any of these people had ever given up, they wouldn't be who they are today. One can also draw strength from their family. Your family has been with you from the beginning. They may be intrusive or not say the right thing. They may not understand you or the person you've become through the years, but they are always there. In that, there is comfort and from comfort one can draw strength to keep on keepin' on. As far as my own little family goes, I am lost without them. My husband is like the Rock of Gibraltor. He is unfailing in his quiet strength to hold me, calm me, talk me off the ledge, what have you. As long as I have his arms around me and he tells me everything will be ok, then I know it will be. As for my little firecracker of a son, his endless six year old enthusiasm keeps me going. As I've said before, child's play can turn your whole outlook around. This life is a gift and to waste it feeling sorry for ourselves, drowning in self-pity is positively toxic. I have spent too much time bitching and moaning about the injustices served upon me. I hate that person. The only good thing I can say about that person is she kept me going, convinced me to fight. If your life feels flat or falls short then get up off the damn mat already and put your dukes up because if you don't someone or something will come along and knock you right out. Good evening world.