strength

After being tagged as a strong woman in my girlfriend's post for Women's Day yesterday, it got me thinking about strength and from where it comes. What do we do as women to be strong, stay strong, get strong? From where do we draw that power? Are we born strong? I don't think that is always the case. I know I was born independent, but I wouldn't say strong. I used to be timid and crowd following. I wasn't outspoken or able to stand up for myself. I never rocked the boat. Now, well now is just a different story. Now, I'm older. With age comes strength, at least for me. Being your own boss and the confidence that takes makes you strong. There were so many times over the course of so many years where I thought I would give up and just throw in the towel. So many tears over money and jobs and parenting. So many times I wondered what the heck I was doing toting this little child around while trying to keep a business afloat while holding my breath through my husband's job search, all while trying to work a second job. I remember one particular afternoon hearing my husband's voice as he answered his phone to another rejection and feeling my immediate need to flee. I ran to my car and drove off leaving them behind. The only place I could think to go was to my Italian barber neighbor. In tears I blew into the back of their shop where Paul in his infinite age and wisdom sat me down to hear my woes. In his calm demeanor he told me,"Robin, you have to get up off the mat." So like a man, simple and to the point, no bullshit. I went to Paul for cold hard truth and he gave it to me. From that day on, whenever life doesn't work out to our expectations, I hear Paul's voice in my head. You see, life shoves you down and to come back swinging only makes you stronger. I am stronger because I keep fighting. I fight for my family and I fight for my business. The two things I have in this life that I feel are worth fighting for. Strength can also come from people. Who you surround yourself with says a lot about your own personality. I don't surround myself with shrinking violets. Shoulda, woulda, coulda, are not in my vocabulary anymore and I don't want to hear other's excuses on why their life is falling short of their expectations. I surround myself with strong personalities(God help me), creatives, teachers, entrepreneurs, and yes, fighters. I have friends fighting for love, notice, success, self-worth, motherhood, health, and if any of these people had ever given up, they wouldn't be who they are today. One can also draw strength from their family. Your family has been with you from the beginning. They may be intrusive or not say the right thing. They may not understand you or the person you've become through the years, but they are always there. In that, there is comfort and from comfort one can draw strength to keep on keepin' on. As far as my own little family goes, I am lost without them. My husband is like the Rock of Gibraltor. He is unfailing in his quiet strength to hold me, calm me, talk me off the ledge, what have you. As long as I have his arms around me and he tells me everything will be ok, then I know it will be. As for my little firecracker of a son, his endless six year old enthusiasm keeps me going. As I've said before, child's play can turn your whole outlook around. This life is a gift and to waste it feeling sorry for ourselves, drowning in self-pity is positively toxic. I have spent too much time bitching and moaning about the injustices served upon me. I hate that person. The only good thing I can say about that person is she kept me going, convinced me to fight. If your life feels flat or falls short then get up off the damn mat already and put your dukes up because if you don't someone or something will come along and knock you right out. Good evening world.