gay

No, I'm not coming out. I'm quite happy in my heterosexual lifestyle. Homosexuality is not normally a subject I would even try to conquer. I mean really, I'm a straight white girl. What could I possibly know on the subject or even hope to offer? I do know that with all the beautiful things happening in my city by the lake, maybe a straight white girl perspective can be heard. As a child of the eighties it was a traditional, conventional, Republican world in which I lived. My neighborhood, white middle class. I had not a clue about love between same sexes. I remember the movie Making Love coming out and my father snorting and walking away from the television. I had no idea why he was discontent and all I could think about was how cute Michael Ontkean and Harry Hamlin were. I was not allowed to see the movie, it was quite forward for that time. In fact, to this day, I don't think I've ever seen it. I remember the commercial previews and seeing the men kiss on my small screen. What I do remember most vividly is seeing the kiss and thinking hey, this is new, so raging were my hormones. The lack of any other reaction to TWO MEN KISSING was apparently foretelling. All I could muster was a hmm. A few years later or maybe the same year, I was infatuated with vampires. At the time The Hunger was the big thing. Watching the love/sex/blood exchange scene between Catherine Deneuve and Susan Sarandon, I was again left with that hmm what is this feeling. To me it was sex, but different. It didn't strike me as weird that it was TWO GIRLS KISSING. At that age hormones weren't picky, they just liked sex scenes, much in the same way I would sneak the teen sex movies when my dad wasn't looking or seek out the sex scenes in my grandmother's hidden Harlequin Romance stash. Okay so now I've painted this picture of a sex crazed teen girl, but hey we've all been there. That innocent, not really innocent lusting after sex or whatever came close without going all the way. Through my years at Kent State I had brushes with gay people, but still pretty clueless and naive on the whole matter. I hate using the words "gay people" because I feel it places the men and women in a category that sounds distasteful or calls more attention to the situation. I suppose it's the same with "straight people" making us sound all high and mighty or something other than just what it is, a label for a grouping. It is hard to know just what is a politically correct way of addressing this group, so quickly we offend these days. I tend to just call them my friends. No differentiating there, I could be talking about anyone. It wasn't until I entered the restaurant business where I became fully schooled on all matters gay. So many different personalities and walks of life came through those doors and I don't mean the customers. Working so close, side by side, in a fast paced environment, there was no time to give any thought to sexuality. Nobody cared. The only thing that mattered was getting through the shift, counting your money, and running for your cocktail. Restaurant people tend to hang with each other every night after work. There is that we just went through Hell camaraderie that bonds you together and goes hand in hand with flowing drinks. So gay or straight we were all one, all in the same boat, enjoying our late night libations after hours of hard work. In short, it didn't matter to me. If you were cool I liked you. I never cared with what sex you coupled. Sooo many years later I am out of the restaurant business. I have a child now and married the cook in the kitchen. He is now a teacher and we live a normal nuclear life. Having just returned from vacation, the first one without any of my boys around us, I reflect upon past years and the company we've kept. One year my husband was surrounded by three men, our child, and myself. He just shrugged his shoulders and loved that the living room got vacuumed. I opened another bottle of wine and Sully loved having all these men to play with. So many "uncles". I can't describe the joy I feel knowing in my house, whether home or on vacation, this child will know no lines, no bias. This is a new world in which we're living. It will be fought with hatred. At the risk of sounding preachy, I do believe that love is love and this is what will keep us moving forward. The display of love Cleveland has provided recently has me near tears. Such a big step so long in the making. So cheers to you friends because gay or straight there is no difference. Good afternoon world.